…is a patriarchally constructed lie by omission. It lacks nuance and independent/critical thought, leaving out a lot of details on why people accept this as the truth, whether it is true or not. It lacks analysis.
I’m not going to dive deep into how and why here. If you read my work or read up on birth, you probably already have that foundation. If not, get going (either reading or leaving). I don’t know why we should give two shits what people who will never have kids nor study birth think about pregnancy, like their opinion means half a good fuck. (It doesn’t.)
Right now I’m just going to rant to you about this. Because there are people out there who fancy themselves radical in terms of women’s liberation and other social causes, but are completely infantile progressively on this one– the functions of women’s bodies in reproduction. There are lies and injustices in that aspect of our existence, just as every other aspect of patriarchy/women’s lives. The people who argue about the “dangers” of pregnancy to scare women are far less educationally developed and more unaware when it comes to the very functions of our bodies that define our sex (beyond just popular myth), and they spread juvenile and ignorant bullshit over it to somehow back up their desire to not procreate, which is not necessary and a disservice to the good reasons anyone has to not have children. Worse, it’s a disservice to the women being churned out and butchered by a system that encourages them to hate and fear their bodies during its most powerful moments. It’s misogyny.
Supporting women to be fearful of our own bodies’ abilities and very nature is misogynist.
Let me make it clear: it benefits men that women are terrified of the natural state of our own bodies as they work naturally. Sit with that. Roll that over in your brain for a minute if you haven’t considered it before. Let that plant a seed. That we will do everything to avoid this bodily state and if not, turn ourselves completely over to subordination to a male-constructed medical system in order to be “safe” from ourselves like lost, sad, helpless little girls who need a knight or a daddy or a hero is the most loud and most widely functioning patriarchal institutional mechanism I can think of. This should make sense to people who acknowledge that women are oppressed for complete control over our reproductive ability.
And please don’t tell me that “women are doctors, too”, as if to explain why an establishment can’t possibly be based on misogyny. Just… don’t. I have plenty of experience with misogynist female doctors. Playing into the system to your own benefit when it hurts others is called handmaidenry.
If you think what happens to our bodies in pregnancy is unfortunate rather than beautiful or amazing, you hold misogynist values. Freedom from pregnancy isn’t automatic proof of gender role liberation, and it’s the virtue signaling of the new woke feminist. Freedom from male rule is what we’re after, but freedom from our bodies points more to a deep disconnect which is not natural, but was inflicted upon us. To fully embody ourselves is to understand that it isn’t scary to have control, whether or not we decide to become pregnant. And being pregnant without being under male control or male indoctrination about our own bodies is a very beautiful thing.
Let’s get one thing straight– pregnancy isn’t “dangerous”. It’s life. Living is “dangerous”. Pregnancy is, however, made dangerous.
And a woman’s pregnant belly and her whole body is beautiful and strong, powerful– not something to make a gross joke about or be terrified of. Because no, those feelings aren’t valid and I don’t have to validate them in order to be sensitive. I’m not in the business of validating precious feels from bad knowledge + cultural conditioning.
That is programming straight from patriarchy and it’s unacceptable. I don’t care if you have dysphoria, and I don’t care if you don’t want pregnancy for yourself. I strongly believe women who don’t want to be parents shouldn’t. It’s why I’m pro choice. Leave the mothering to the people who want to do it, I say. (In fact, leave the whole topic to those who do it and know what the fuck they are talking about, rather than don’t!) But not because of bullshit fears about our bodies. It should come from knowledge of self, not lack thereof. That’s not a virtue. I will not applaud that. I will challenge and question your prejudices if they are offensive and harmful. This is not the same thing as me forcing you to be something you don’t want to be. Melodrama Strawman. Clutch those pearls, oh everyone is forcing something on me, no one will let me be me– no. You can be you without spreading lies about others. We tell trans women this about womanhood every day. The moment you put that class analysis down to make it about an individual prejudiced feeling when you’ve already been given overwhelming “permission” to be you and no one is trying to change you, you’ve lost the plot.
Challenging your misinformation and misrepresentation is not the same thing as trying to change you.
Unless you’re scared that you will change your mind when you allow new information or another perspective to enter, of course.
Why would any radical feminist show something like this to explain why pregnancy is undesirable? It’s untrue, sensational, and misogynistic.
A personal phobia is a personal phobia and should be checked out and unpacked rather than circulated as gospel truth. This isn’t so you will decide to get pregnant, it’s just so you can not be so traumatized and ignorant or hold irrational (yes, irrational) fears. I confronted someone who wasn’t ready to unpack that, but she did spread nonsense publicly and with prejudice … so I spoke for women and the truth. Truth is truth. Lies are lies. And if you spew whatever you picked up without researching further and it’s part of a machine that harms women, you’re doing patriarchy’s work for them.
Substitute any other group for “pregnant women” and imagine spreading an image meant to gross or creep people out about said group, when the image wasn’t even authentic or representative of reality, was designed to be unflattering, and the statement that goes with it is incorrect, and tell me that shit would fly. So why should radicals get a pass when it’s women? What would happen if you did that about black people, gay people, disabled people, or fat people? When you rely on lies, it’s no longer about your feelings. Now it’s about facts and about being honest about groups of people, because class consciousness requires it of us. Pregnant women are women, and they are a class of women that experiences a particularly vicious and brutal form of routine abuse and oppression. And it’s completely socially sanctioned.
People thinking their prejudices can’t be debunked or it shits on their identities and choices (which are more important than facts) IS THE SAME ARGUMENT THAT GENDER IDEOLOGISTS MAKE. “Stop trying to change me, stop oppressing me, by telling me that female is a biological thing, you are hurting my feelings and trying to make me be something I’m not and it’s KILLING ME.” This, dysphoria, fear of bodies, is precisely why young girls are butchering their bodies. So don’t tell me it’s neither here nor there when it all comes from the same thinking. Whether you’re dysphoric over pregnancy, periods, breasts, the originator is the same: Patriarchy.
They (men, male dominant culture, patriarchy) want us to be scared of ourselves and give our power to them, so they can take care of us. They want to make the choices for us or give us false choices so we feel “empowered”. Don’t ignore women who may be or become pregnant when you are standing up against that tide.
No, feeling dysphoric and spreading bad propaganda isn’t proof that any of these things are legitimately gross or dangerous on their own. They are reputed to be dangerous, it has been made dangerous to be in these states, but they are not inherently dangerous. It is literally killing women (and I do mean literally) to believe this stuff about ourselves. THAT’S why I speak. And I’m not just regurgitating nonsense I heard from out there in the world. It’s my specialty. I know what the fuck this earth goddess biz is. It’s what I do. It’s a passion of mine. You’d think I might even have some interesting things to say or teach about it, if anyone were curious enough to ask and listen. But who cares? these are just pregnant women, and you’ll never have kids. Why learn? Pregnancy is just dangerous, the end.*shrug* Hey, look at this weird belly! Glad I’ll never be like that, I’m so liberated. And empowered. And terrified. And don’t you dare try to change that.
And likewise, to be fair, I need to find my own balance today because my commitment to the truth and outrage at lies is out of hand, has me seeing it as all-important right now when god knows the world is full of this and life goes on and there are things I could be doing instead that would add to my quality of life more. ❤
Mad props to Mercury Retrograde and Merry Christmas.
theperfectbirth 