Birth Photography: The Elephant in the Room

5 09 2016

elephantI’m about to liken birth photography to pornography.

Now if you haven’t already accepted certain basic principles of birth physiology, you’re probably not going to appreciate this post. More details on what those are can be found here, and here.

If you’re still with me, you may be one of those who this is best geared for:  a very specific kind of freebirther, the fringe of the fringe, the most primitive. Hello sister.

I know it seems like I’m once again here to rain on your parades, but as we acknowledge that birth is part of the sexual continuum, and that birth has been hijacked by people who pretend to be helpers who don’t belong there and endanger us, it would behoove us to acknowledge that we are not fully unindoctrinated while we are still allowing outsiders into that sacred, private space out of a fear that we would miss out on something desirable as influenced by current social norms. What we end up really missing out on is a whole lot more.

After all, many people still birth in hospitals partly out of a fear of missing out on some things, certain things they have come to expect. Certain indignations normalized.

A small example:  I remember one of the things I believed I would “miss” was feeling like I was on vacation. Staying in a bed in a room, having food brought to me, being expected to rest, taking a break from the normal routines… That gets easier to break up with when you face that this kind of “vacation” is really a recovery from trauma the likes of which you won’t experience if you stay home and do it yourself. Most of us don’t chop off our arms to get a vacation, either. Well, not if we’re healthy of mind, anyway. Not to mention the fact that you can rest and be waited on at home, too; even though it doesn’t feel like “going away”, your baby belongs at home and your nest is the most appropriate place to nestle.

We’re so used to expecting certain things and having certain norms that we hesitate to part with them or we want to incorporate them into experience, like a tradition. But how many traditions are actually fads? This era holds that birth pictures and video are not to be missed out on, like wedding video and pictures. Only the photographer usually doesn’t stay to capture the wedding night, which birth is honestly much more like. And that’s the (big) difference.

When I say birth is part of the sexual continuum, I’m pointing out something that most natural birthers already acknowledge. That is that the life cycle starts with sex, ideally preceded by two people with excellent chemistry falling in love and having lots of trust (maximum oxytocin overload, pleasurable life, healthy setup for the future). And that is an act that is carried on by two people and two people only. For the act of creation and furthering of the species, this example takes a man and a woman. For them to feel fully secure and give in to the moment and all the beautiful chemical reactions awaiting them, they need to feel privacy.

(Voyeurism is not a part of this chain; it is a socially developed kink. I’m trying to get back to our roots, not away from.)

The people– but I’m going to focus specifically on the woman– need to feel that their guard can be completely let down in order to fully give in to feeling the way they are feeling with each other. That is the only way they can really be free. Part of this primal act being so guarded could be partly due to our instinct to be aware of predators. We would be especially vulnerable to an outside attack in these sensitive moments. It also may have to do with bonding, as anything that would interfere with or leech off of man-to-woman bonding in intercourse threatens the future of the family. The oxytocin in that moment is the seed, spark, foundation of deep trust and sense of love, that promises a strong attachment and furthers the survival and protection of any offspring yet to come. The more solidified and respected that bond, the higher the chances of success for our species on the whole.

(On a spiritual and romantic level, I also feel the privacy is extremely validated, but I will return to focus on the physical to be basic, fundamental, and not digress. I don’t have time to explain my philosophy to you right now, nor do I think everyone might care.)

What naturally follows, if impregnated, is birth. The emergence of the new life from the same portal through which the possibility of life had to enter. And the state of mind of the woman laboring or birthing is similar in that the thinking mind is shut off, giving way to the primitive mind and instinct and body taking over, and that any outsiders to this event are viewed as intruders– which will either hinder her response, endanger it/her, or temporarily stop the process altogether. Birth involves an altered state of consciousness, when allowed to proceed naturally. Birth is perhaps the most vulnerable naturally occurring moment to a human life and we are wired to be aware of the presence of those who do not belong in order to protect ourselves and our young. The same people at the sexual union are the people who are good candidates to be present at the birth. No more, and maybe less. To violate that puts the woman in fight-or-flight mode. There are plenty of references in literature to just how this is harmful to labor and you can read more about it and the Fear Tension Pain Cycle in books like Childbirth Without Fear, and Unassisted Childbirth.

As an aside, Michel Odent has given some great notes on how a man should behave *if* he is invited into the birth space, even if a woman trusts and loves him. Read any of his works and especially Birth and Breastfeeding for more information.

When the primitive, physiological self is allowed to take over for the thinking mind, without fear, in the absence of any intrusion, in sex and in childbirth, the result is ease, satisfaction, proper release of oxytocin for bonding and love and pleasure with whomever the deserving and receiving partner or life mate is, if around. This works for woman to man in intercourse, and man and woman and baby in childbirth, as the culmination of their act of love and the solidifying of the family unit. This was nature’s plan for human longevity, and it’s the brilliance of its design. It is built into us. A strong unit is formed, and strong tribes may form.

A woman needs to be able to tap into that deep place within herself that without societally-based fears and expectations, the likes of which are imposed on all of us regarding birth from a very young age. And she can’t do that as long as you are selling her products. She can’t do that when you’re telling her there is still something modern she will need, something extra and more than what she is that she should want, something she will regret not adding in because other mothers have it and it’s so important, and keep her further and further away from her original design and function. You’re keeping her from her purest and truest self and essence, and if you succeed, she will never know it in this life. Her body is an astounding work of creation, moreso than any camera ever could be. And we hinder that. Because we are delighted by the modern marvel more than the organic miracle. We keep reaching for shiny distractions and no longer respect when it is time to put those away.

In some parallel universe somewhere, there is orgasm/conception photography, for the same reasons as we do birth photographs now.

I look at birth video and photography much in the same way I would look at the concept of artistic orgasm photography. I appreciate the interest in capturing a moment. I appreciate the reverence for the look on the woman’s face, the awe in her rawness. And if I were watching someone have actual sex on video, even if “tastefully done”, I would have to admit it is really pushing it in terms of being a form of pornography.

Because… I’m not supposed to be there. This is private. I may be interested, I may be intrigued, but this is not for me to watch. Those are not my moments, those are not my chemicals. I’m an intruder, and this belongs to someone else. This is sacred.

And you can photograph sex and birth all you like, but you will never truly capture the reality of what the moment would look like if you were not there at all.

Imagine if the things people say about birth photography were said about intercourse photography?

“They’re a real pro, you won’t even know they’re there.”

“They silently stay out of the way and blend in with the background.”

“We have a mutual acquaintance that can really vouch for them, so I trust them.”

“The photographer is my sister.”

“You will be so lost in the moment, you will have no awareness that they’re even in the room. And you’ll be so ‘busy’ you won’t even care at that point.”

What about this is not creepy?

I know birth and sex are not perfectly synonymous, but that’s not the point. The point is that the woman is tapped into the same states of being with her body producing some of the same hormones, functions and effects, having the same physiological needs to make the effort a success. You can spoil one just as easily as you can spoil the other, with these wrong attitudes towards the acts.

And if you honestly believe when looking at any birth photos or vids (or ones of sex….) that what you are viewing would be exactly the same without the extra people and the cameras, you’re lying to yourself. Men who watch porn also think they are watching reality. Granted, pornography is often consciously a performance, while being taped in birth becomes more of subconsciously performing. You are not seeing an unhindered woman. The camera will always add the element of observation or performance, however subtle or inconspicuous it seems to the observer/observed. You are not getting the fullest, unbridled, wild, natural person who is free from being studied, judged, or captured. (Even just think about the language… she is “captured” on film. She is subdued, watched, controlled.) The woman will always be aware somewhere in her consciousness of your presence, because her primitive mind is keen and sharp to detect this as a rule, as a defense mechanism innate to her, and it *will* have an impact on her. And that impact is restraint and tension.

Here is the part where someone chimes in, “You don’t know me. Not all women are the same. Everyone has different needs.” Wrong. All women *are* the same. Let’s look at the hierarchy of needs.


I imagine the resulting photograph keepsakes contribute to the tier entitled “Esteem”.

First we acknowledge that birth is a physiological, physical event. You don’t birth with your personality or your brain, you birth with your body. You are an animal. Then let’s address that the primal body is the one tasked with giving birth as it does instinctively, when not held back or restrained. Then let’s observe that stimulation of the thinking mind, or neocortex, keeps one from dropping deep into primal brain activity, and that the neocortex is stimulated by having company. In this we must admit that the presence of others serves functionally to restrain the primal woman, keeping her in the worst state of consciousness for an easy birth.

Now tell me you deny this and that you’re built differently from other women.

“But humans are social animals! I am a very social person!”

Your baby whom you are giving birth to is a person. This is an interaction between you and they. And sometimes, your partner, if invited to the birth space. These are all people.

What more in the way of social do you require?

You may be a social butterfly, but please note this is a psychological trait and not a primal one. Your primal self is the one giving birth, the one you need to honor, the one for whom all obstacles must get out of the way. If you glance again at the hierarchy of needs, you will note that physiology and safety are first, they are the foundation, and they are of utmost importance. Love and belonging to which I’ll assume the psychological wish to be surrounded by people owes itself, is secondary to those things. (Ironically, if you honor the physiological foundation first, you will find a deepening and intensifying of love due to all the oxytocin shared in earnest between you.)

Our physiology as women is the same. Our needs for safety as laboring mammals are the same: quiet, darkness, solitude, warmth. You can’t claim a psychological preference supersedes these. It is akin to saying, “But I really like the water!” to explain that you can be submerged and don’t need to breathe. You are not superhuman, your body is not made differently. We have basic needs. We need to breathe, we need to eat, we need to sleep, we need to not be obstructed or injured. Once those basic needs are covered, then we are able to move up to other less pressing wants, frequently formed by the thinking mind and not the primal one, such as being social.

If a woman’s psychological urges are so strong that she must obey those first, due to trauma, conditioning, or lack of awareness of the severity of these issues on our bodies, she will choose to be surrounded at birth. This is why I advise anyone trying to freebirth to conquer your psychological issues before birth, and ideally, before pregnancy.

I excuse these the same way I excuse elective Cesareans. Our trauma and where we are at in dealing with it will determine which choices we feel ready to make. For that I have sympathy, but with strong preference to trying to get women helped before their inclinations lead to more physical harm. In short, we all work with what we’ve got.

Your rational mind wants to be in control and will always find a way, always find fear and excuses. You cannot bargain with instinct, though. Instinct will be there whether you like it or not and you will not be able to rationalize with it. I recommend getting out of its way.

And not denying it.

To me birth vids and photography are like the big, voyeuristic, creepy, pervy, obstructing, restraining, intrusive elephant in the room. And elephants are apparently midwives, so that’s fitting.

When most natural birthers are looking at birth photos and vids and picking on things like,

“Oh, that baby is wearing a hat! Poor thing!”

“Look, they cut the cord right away.”

“OMG, how many hands are on that mama? And take off those gloves!”

Or even positive things like,

“Oh look, daddy caught!”

“What a fierce, strong mama in that birth pool.”

“I love your faces! You did it!”

“This is what birth is supposed to look like.”

No it’s not. You weren’t supposed to be there. You are getting a happy, joyous, or victorious fragment of her at best. You are viewing a fraction of her depth and what she would normally be capable of. And yes, even that fraction is beautiful to us, but our pleasure through her is ill-gained and of no importance. What she really deserved matters more. So I wince, like some of you wince and feel triggered when you see unnecessary Cesarean photos.

What repeats in my mind while even agreeing with their comments is, “have you noticed yet there was a camera/photographer there?” How much better might it have been for the mother and her baby if they weren’t some kind of show on display for us? As nice as it may be to have keepsake photos your baby’s delivery, might you be cheating yourselves when it comes to feeling something much more pure and unfiltered? Something potentially pain-free, non-injurious, untraumatized, and even ecstatic? Do you want to be one of those women who says immediately after, “I want to do it again”?

Another way birth is like sex.

The continuum of life, of sex, wants us to be rewarded. Our brains are supposed to feel good about these activities because this supports continuation of the species. Birth, like sex, is not “supposed” to be painful and we should stop promoting that it inherently is. Our pain is frequently connected to fear and control. We and our process and how we perceive it has been controlled and ideas fed to us and we are ruled and overcome by fear. I can only assume that, removing all this, our births would be mostly pleasurable. We will never know because even modern empowered women do not live in a vacuum. All of us are overcoming hostile influences. I want us to keep breaking away from these conventions so that one day our daughters might know this answer.

“And what about you, Elizabeth? Are you so perfect? You didn’t want photos and videos of your births?”

No, I fucked up, too. That’s why I’m here. My whole story is one of fucking it up, then getting it right, and then getting it a little bit more right, some more. If I can keep you from doing what I did and having to learn the hard way, that’s my dream.

My first birth in the hospital I videotaped and there were pictures. All kinds of people were in the room, strange men saw my ass, I vomited on people and cried. Bright lights and hooked up to machines, opiates and vaginal trauma… and I’m sure the recordings were negligible in influence after all that. But I’ve got it on record.

Birth 2 was too traumatic to have any recording devices out. I spent part of it in an ambulance, hoping to lose consciousness. Strange men saw my ass again.

My third birth when I was way more awakened, I went solo. I attempted to record video because I didn’t yet know any better, and the device failed to record, but it still acted as an “observing eye”. I was photographed in early labor which I suppose isn’t that bad while contractions are light. (In the sex analogy, this might be being photographed in a kiss.) I wanted to be alone through most of labor and only allowed pictures after the baby emerged in the pool. (Yes, I do think after-birth pictures in limitation are okay, and in the sex analogy, may be akin to an after-orgasm photo. Risque, a peek into something private, but still discrete. The body has done the hardest work after the moment of birth but you still want to be mindful not to disturb the mother in the third stage because she is still affected by needless interference and chatter.) This was an amazing birth and I do not doubt it could have been even more amazing without mechanical watching eyes. But the picture of me lifting my son out of the water of the birth pool and having achieved this triumph myself is one of the most beautiful images I’ve ever seen and may be my favorite picture of all time. You can see it on the back of my book, In Search of the Perfect Birth.

Birth 4 I knew better and we attempted no recording device and saved pictures for after baby was born. I cherish these because for the first time ever, the reveal of the sex was a complete shock and surprise (literally the opposite of what I thought I knew), and this moment and reaction was caught in a photo. Up until the pushing, this was also my absolute easiest and most manageable birth yet. Dark, solitude, warmth, relative quiet… it was downright blissful during most of it.

I wish you all the same successes and even beyond. We’re all waking up from the trappings of this machine.

Share a Birth Bead For My Necklace!

28 01 2014

Those of you who follow the page and the blog might be aware that I am due with my 4th and final child on February 14! It’s coming up so soon. I’m very excited as I prepare for the baby’s arrival.

If you’ve ever been to a Blessingway or Mother Blessing, you might be familiar with the custom of giving a birth bead to the mother. The bead is then strung on a necklace for the mother, which is sometimes referred to as the birth necklace or mother necklace. When a person selects a bead, it might be a certain color of significance, or bear some other intended meaning or symbolism. The necklace as a whole becomes a source of strength, love, and empowerment for the mother. It is a really great idea for something beautiful and creative for the woman about to give birth to know how she is supported. Sometimes, it is even accompanied by specific wishes or words of wisdom for her, special verses or poems of inspiration, etc.

Here’s an example: this one made for me by friends and loved ones during my pregnancy with Sage. (He was my freebirth baby from the book.)

If you’d like to participate in this special moment with me, consider this your invitation! I’d be honored to have you join me for this. I know some of you have gotten to know me over the years, and for some maybe I’ve made a difference to you or you to me, and it’s only right that we are connected during this time. I’ve been “with you” for some of your pregnancies and births and now you can be with me in mine as I close this chapter.

So, if this sounds like something you’d enjoy being part of, send your bead to me ASAP before the due date to:

Elizabeth McKeown
PO Box 1133
Keystone Heights, FL 32656

Thanks so much for being a fan and a friend. I’ll take pictures later to show you all how it turns out.

UPDATE:  Here is the necklace! Thank you everyone! Love you.


Improving Birth Rally in Jacksonville, Florida (photos)

4 09 2012

I attended the Jacksonville, Florida Improving Birth rally this past Labor Day. It was held in front of Memorial Hospital, which claims a 44% C-section rate– the worst in the city. Below are some photos from the event, taken by myself, my husband, Lori Lee Photography, and Chanel Martin. My husband and kids were in attendance with me.🙂

This rally took place all over the country, held in front of strategically chosen hospital locations to raise awareness about the rampant unnecessary medical intervention in births today, which has decreased– not increased– the health of women and babies over the years.

These are my kids.

This is me. The opposite side of the sign (facing you) says–
Women naturally, on average, take 41-42 weeks to grow a baby, NOT 40.

Signing autographs! Just kidding. Just a sign-in sheet.

My husband was laughing at me, he said I looked pissed. I wasn’t really. It was just really bright out. But to be fair, 1) I think I often look pissed naturally, and 2) I didn’t really think it was appropriate to smile, given the occasion and my sign’s message..

The view driving away (don’t mind the baby prints on the window!).


Hmm, I don’t personally agree with the blue sign, but I’m glad she is trying to empower women.

A view of the hospital and parking as we passed.

The signs our kids held. I made them, my kids helped me decorate them.

Joymarie says: “He was asking why were were doing this and what it was about and I told him about better birth outcomes and less interventions leading to c-sections. His response was that we should protest the malpractice insurance. His voice was very weary and it made me very sad to hear him talk. He was also telling me how c-sections went up when we started monitoring because those strips can come back to haunt you in court. I told him I can only imagine how difficult it can be to make that call. No one wants a dead baby. He continued to tell me that he just had to do a c-section on a 36 weeker and she was a premi and had to spend time in the NICU. (he was not happy when he said any of this) I further explained that we were about promoting education and how I had a c-section with my first because I didnt wait for my body to go into labor and as a first time mom made a bad choice, but how I learned from that experience and went on to have a successful VBAC. He then told me that was cool and that he was born on labor day but not today. The conversation ended with me telling him Happy Birthday and he said thanks for the conversation.

“Find out what it takes to have your best birth.” Below that, it also says In Search of the Perfect Birth, and below that, our website (

Joshua, my husband.

My fam and our signs: Eve, Joshua, Sage, me, Cian.

Try not to take it the wrong way and see the spirit of her message. I do understand that sometimes nature effs up. But not 44% of the time.

Look kids, we made the news! Josh and I are right there.

Josh’s sign.

Winners: 1 Year Anniversary Giveaway

5 06 2012

As luck would have it, the winners of this Giveaway ALL won from the entries in which they tweeted about the giveaway. I’ve never seen this before! Tweeting was a great reason to win, since it alerted people to the giveaway and exposed more people to all the wonderful pages involved. And, a couple of you won MORE than once.

Thanks to everyone for all your entries and support. Thanks to Pink Moon, Inside Vaccines, and Unassisted Childbirth/Freebirth for sponsoring. Special shout-out to Lactastic Mommy for sharing our giveaway just because she’s a nice friend and fan who wanted her readers to have a chance at winning that beanie.😉 Now, on to the winners.

The Grand Prize Winner is… Tamika Renee!

Tamika won by tweeting about our giveaway on June 3rd. Tamika’s prize:

A signed copy of In Search of the Perfect Birth– one of the last First Edition copies remaining in print. [Second Edition is now available for sale with most major booksellers.]

1 Cloth Diaper of her choice from The Perfect Birth, including one microfiber insert. We are also giving her a bonus bamboo insert.

1 Boobie Beanie in winner’s choice of size and color, by Pink Moon


1 pair of crocheted baby shoes by Pink Moon, winner’s choice of size and colors.


Tamika, please contact to tell us where to send your book and how you would like it signed. Also, let us know which cloth diaper you select from the choices above (see also: our store).

Contact Pink Moon to let her know where she can send your items. Be sure to tell her your shoe color preferences and size– choose from: Newborn size fits foot up to 3″;  0-3 Months fits foot up to 3 1/4″;  3-6 Months fits foot up to 4″; 6-12 Months fits foot up to 5″.  For the beanie, please tell her your color and size preference from the following: 1. Cream/Pink; 2. Tan/Pink; 3. Tan/Med Brown; 4. Mocha/ Med Brown; 5. Mocha/Dk. Brown; 6. Chocolate/ Dk Brown. Sizes: Newborn size: 12-13″; 3-6 months: 15-17″; 6-12 months: 17-19″; child: 18-20″; tween: 19-21″.


Second Prize Goes to… Tamika Renee!

Yes, you won again! Tamika won this by tweeting about our giveaway on May 30th.  Tamika, you won an additional copy of the book. Why not give one to a friend? When contacting Elizabeth (see above), let her know how you’d like this signed. She will be more than happy to only sign her name if requested.

Third Prize Goes to… Haley Skelley!

Haley won by tweeting about our giveaway on June 1st. Haley also  won a recent giveaway at Pink Moon… looks like she is on a roll with us! Haley won a randomly selected cloth diaper from The Perfect Birth, plus a microfiber insert to go with our new pocket diapers.

She’ll be receiving: Economics (black).

Haley, please e-mail to let Elizabeth know where she can send your new diaper!

Fourth Prize Goes to… Jessica Miller!

Jessica won by tweeting about the giveaway on May 30th. Her prize:

Crocheted baby boots from Pink Moon, winner’s choice of colors and sizes!

Jessica, please contact Pink Moon to discuss your choice in colors and sizes. Here are the size options: Newborn size fits foot up to 3″; 0-3 Months fits foot up to 3 1/4″; 3-6 Months fits foot up to 4″; 6-12 Months fits foot up to 5″. Please tell her where she can mail your prize.

Fifth Prize Goes to… Jessica Miller!

That’s right, you were our other double winner! Jessica won by tweeting about the giveaway on June 1st. It really paid to keep doing those daily tweets! She wins the Boobie Beanie, pictured above (see Grand Prize pictures)! Her choice of size and colors.

Jessica, when you contact Pink Moon about your shoes, be sure to give her your details in choice for the beanie as well.

That’s it! Thanks everyone for taking part! And congratulations to Tamika, Haley, and Jessica for winning such cool prizes! If you feel like it, please let us know how you like your prizes once you receive them. I know Pink Moon and I would love to hear your reviews. And naturally, if you like us, don’t be shy about telling your friends.😉

Happy One Year! Giveaway

30 05 2012

It has been one year since In Search of the Perfect Birth was published and our website and Facebook pages begun. It was a proud moment in my life and it’s been satisfying to know that my story resonated with so many of you.  I learned a lot from my own life and if anyone else is learning from my stories, I can be exponentially assured that this was not in vain. It is my privilege to have ever helped anyone because it gives my life added meaning. Thank you!!!

The Second Edition was just released earlier this month, and it’s better than before. Still the same book in content, it is more polished and hopefully an easier book to enjoy than before.

We are celebrating with a giveaway.

The following pages we are proud to announce as our honorary sponsors:

Unassisted Birth/Freebirth
Inside Vaccines

Our active contributing sponsor, we are happy to announce, is:

Pink Moon

Follow our simple Rafflecopter form here at our Facebook page for super easy entries/chances to win.


1. The Grand Prize:

One signed copy, one of the last remaining, of the First Edition of my book, In Search of the Perfect Birth.

One Cloth Diaper (plus microfiber insert) from The Perfect Birth. Your choice of colors from the new Scholar line!

One (additional) Bamboo Insert from The Perfect Birth

   One pair of crocheted baby shoes by Pink Moon. Have a variety of colors to choose from (winner’s choice) and sizes are as follows:

Newborn size fits foot up to 3″
0-3 Months fits foot up to 3 1/4″
3-6 Months fits foot up to 4″
6-12 Months fits foot up to 5″

One “Boobie Beanie” in your choice of size and color by Pink Moon!

1. Cream/Pink
2. Tan/Pink
3. Tan/Med Brown
4. Mocha/ Med Brown
5. Mocha/Dk. Brown
6. Chocolate/ Dk Brown
Newborn size: 12-13″
3-6 months: 15-17″
6-12 months: 17-19″
child: 18-20″
tween: 19-21″

This grand prize above is SIX great gifts.
The following gifts are single gifts to other lucky potential winners.

2. One of the last remaining First Edition copies of the book, signed.

Have a variety of colors to choose from (winner’s choice) and sizes are as follows
Newborn size fits foot up to 3″
0-3 Months fits foot up to 3 1/4″
3-6 Months fits foot up to 4″
6-12 Months fits foot up to 5″

3. 1 Cloth Diaper from The Perfect Birth. Color chosen for winner randomly; comes with a microfiber insert.

4. These crocheted baby boots from Pink Moon

5. A “Boobie Beanie” from Pink Moon, winner’s choice of color and size (see above).

So enter the Rafflecopter form NOW for a chance to win the Grand Prize of five prizes, or one of the other 4 single prizes! Many thanks for all who’ve supported me over the year. I promise that there is only more to come. Happy Birthday to Us!

Just Quick Clarifications (For the Stillbirthday Debacle)

24 04 2012

Most of this stuff could have been cleared up if open communication were ever utilized. You’d be amazed how much understanding can occur when people genuinely talk to and listen to one another. But, not happening, so here goes.

Three things:

1. I never went to Gina @ The Feminist Breeder to convince her of anything. It literally never happened. I only stepped into the conversation when alerted by my friends it was occurring.  At that point, it was concerned loss mothers who’d been victimized by the Mentors at Stillbirthday who had spoken up to spark her retraction of endorsing their site in the first place.

2.  I never tell mothers that it is better to watch your baby die a natural death than to receive emergency care. All you’d have to do is read my book to know that I am all about having back up plans and taking care to use medical service when it is needed.  Others have gathered this just from my online activity, w/o even having to read my book.  Saying that I prefer dead infants to medical intervention is absurd and a regurgitation of the common go-to claim made against any natural childbirth proponents by anti natural birth groups. Heidi claims to be for natural birth, but she’s pulling out all their cards tonight.

3. Everything I ever used in any posts about Stillbirthday was entirely factual. I don’t have to lie. The truth is bad enough. Every time I ask “what was a lie?” I am never answered. Some act like they are above that and then post passive-aggressive blogs to avoid actual conversation and maintain the appearance of a moral high ground. We go to comment, but they refuse to publish our comments in our own defense, even though they have been allowed on ours. Like the interview I attempted, communication is always shut down. I am never proven wrong. It’s a hit and run.

Okay, Four things.

4. I have never, ever, ever, EVER made ANY request, explicit or implied, that ANY particular member be ousted from Stillbirthday. My problem was with the organization as a whole. I never made any demands, threats, or ultimatums. If you were told this, you were lied to. I have nothing to gain if ONE person leaves this organization. If one person leaves, who wins? Not me, and I don’t care. This is not to fulfill any vendetta. This is not personal. It is beyond personal. Even if any one mentor were ousted from this group, I would still never promote Stillbirthday. It’s very foundation, to me, is questionable. There was never a deal one could make with me in exchange for my silence. Only understanding did I seek. Questions and answers. These were refused.

Good! I think that’s all cleared up now. Have a good one! 🙂

Big Changes Coming to The Perfect Birth

27 03 2012

 At The Perfect Birth, we are branching out. Passionate about giving babies the best start possible, we are taking it to the next level, beyond the book. We will be carrying other baby related things in a storefront connected to this site, and we hope you will find something you like.

One of the main items we will have available are cloth diapers.

Most of our diapers will run about $8 a piece.

Other items will include more literature, clothing, baby blankets, and amber teething necklaces.

Below: Elizabeth and Sage and their crazy camera antics try to briefly talk about newbie cloth diapering and why it’s still a good environmental choice (despite all the laundry).

So what do you think? Is this good news? Are you excited? Would you want to buy anything at our store? And yes, our book will be available for purchase there as well, as will the future books I am working on.